Monday, June 25, 2012


Last week here the mercury (does anyone actually use mercury thermometers anymore) hit 98 with heat indexes over 100. I was very happy seeing as how happy hot makes me. I live for weather like that. it makes me sooo happy. Sam, not so much.

He kept asking if he was melting and if he was going to melt away. I tried not to giggle because he was honestly concerned he would. We pulled out the pool, we invited the neighbor, we enjoyed the water and  being splashed, had ice cream for snack and just lazed around. It was a pretty nice few days.

So far summer vacation hasn't killed me. When things are this good I start wondering if I could home school Sammy. If he would be happier in a less challenging environment. I begin to romanticize having him home and things running smoothly. I picture bunnies and tea parties and pretty yellow flowers.
Sammy filling the water gun and enjoying the bubbles it makes

Then yesterday I watched him suddenly punch his brother in the face. I heard the pop of his hand hit Nate. I watched Nate tumble. Then I remembered, "oh yeah, no, he NEEDS school"

Sam and Nate getting along for a minute
Even after all these years with him the incongruity surprises me. It still catches me off guard and makes me sad. I can't seem to wrap my head around how this awesome kid who is just now beginning to hug me can think nothing of punching his brother in the face! It still shocks me. It still makes me hold my breath. It reminds me that we are dealing with something I really don't have a handle on. Something I probably never will have a handle on. That is heartbreaking to me.

It's still , just one foot in front of the other. On step at a time.