Friday, June 27, 2008

Crazy tell you

where to start. i got pulled over on Thursday morning. My registration was expired and non-renewable. Oops. technically I thought it might have been but i played dumb. totally unethical but it got me a $100 ticket in stead of getting my plates taken and getting towed at 6:30 in the morning.
$617 for excise
$ 80 for Dan's tickets
$ 35 for my ticket
$ 55 for a new registration and reinstatement
$100 ticket
$ 887

thank God I have a job now or we would have been screwed! the officer was really nice and told me to appeal it and that I would probably get a break

Sammy has been so sweet lately. He has been terrible too but I don't even want to talk about that today. i just want to be happy for where we are going!
he has started to notice when I am not happy he will do something he shouldn't and then ask me "Sammy know you happy?"
if I say no he tries to fix it
then says
"Sammy need mom make smile face"
fucking stellar. makes me smile every time and makes dealing with him so very much easier!
I just adore that little man
he makes me smile and laugh and cry and laugh more
I bought him a pair of bright orange crocks
he loves them and wore then to the park today.
I just sat there watching him slip them off and and run through the wet grass giggling in his own little made me so happy to see him so free so happy. even if it's only for moments.
he would then hop on the swing and ask "Sammy push, want you push me"
he flew higher and higher on the swing eyes to the sky like he saw in bridge to tarabithia.
he was so happy and free. and he looked at me and said
"i just love you so much" i almost fell over... good things good things

and lastly
yummy supper
chicken marinated all day with lemon,dill,rosemary, and garlic
grilled with shallots and topped with a cream wine sauce
served with
steamed baby carrots with a sour cream-honey-brown sugar sauce
and cauliflower

Thursday, June 19, 2008


A good cupcake/frosting idea for a party.
must be simple and quick.
easy to make a lot

Sunday, June 15, 2008


i tried making the crusty onion almond rolls from the SCD cookbook. they were supposed to be crusty and round. instead mine spread out and went flat. they looked and felt like oatmeal cookies see...i was very sad

I think my butter may have been to warm? anyone know if that might be it?

This is fresh strawberries and home made zabionne(sp?) it's an Italian custard made with wine honey and eggs. its the SCD legal version

happy little burgers made with love, hazelnut flour, egg whites and garlic

the end result is the burgers didn't look great in the buns but they tasted FAN.TAS.TIC

the good and the bad

field day! Sammy had field day on Friday and it was great. he won two ribbons and I got day time cuddles in. he was really good and did a great job. The school enlisted older kids to help the SPED kids and it was a great idea. Sammy won a first and a second place ribbon. I am so proud of him.

IEP! second attempt was a total waste of time. I don't understand why they even needed me there they didn't listen to a freaking thing i said. that's OK we reconvene in September and by then the advocate will be in place and apparently she is a bulldog!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

more yummy food and a birthday

this was supper last night
ripe mango
field greens
cheddar cheese
with warm dressing made of
left over steak
2 lemons
garlic slivers
5 Tbs red wine
heat till bubbly
toss with salad

Nate had a birthday party this weekend. He is ONE can you believe it!?!? walking and making noises trying to talk a little. he makes the silliest faces and acts absolutely ridiculous some times. i made him his owl little cake with real lemon frosting. no boxes or jars here! totally not SCD legal but it was his birthday. lookie

the duck cake for the guests
watching us sing happy birthday
cake face
the wrapping was his favorite part
he just loved this shirt!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

yummy food

baby greens
fresh clemintines (taken out of the membrane)
left over pork chops (cut small)

heat untill bubbling and pour over greens chops and oranges
1 cup clementine juice
2 Tbs honey
1 cup water
1/2 cup walnuts

yum yum yum

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

no IEP to speak of

My son Tyler has Asperger's which is a high functioning form of autism. he has always been the one I worried least about, until now.
he is failing things in school. he has a d- in English for the year and a 52 average for homework in social studies. I can't do any more than I already am. I just can't. he is 13 and he doesn't want my help. granted he gets it anyway. I help with homework, checking to see if it gets done... everything
and yet he is still failing
his IEP failed him
his teachers failed him
but most of all
I .Failed.Him
so the boy that I thought would be off the IEP next year is now being considered for a school for boys like him. I want to cry. I failed my son, horribly... how could I?
so after over three hours at the IEP meeting we got nothing accomplished other than I feel like crap. Nothing written, nothing set
and we meet again on Friday the 13th

Monday, June 2, 2008

at the park

i feel terrible.
it all just seems to hard
i promise from today on that i will do more fun stuff with my sammy
less stress
more thought
i need to get creative

scd treat number ONE

mango banana pops.
I bought a ton of bananas yesterday at price right (litterally 15 lbs) and mangoes(5lbs)
I took 3 very very ripe mangoes and 2 very very ribe bananas and ran them through the blender. i poured them into mini paper cups ( i bought a package at BJ's for sams supplements but there were like 2,000 in the bag ) stuck pop sticks in and voila popsicles that are scd legal

silence and smiles with eggs and strawberries

we went to the store with Sammy today. he really did very well. super helpful and everything. not even a hint of a meltdown. I makes me happy to see it. those moments do come when I can see through everything into the light behind his eyes. And because I am me it also makes me sad. it makes the silences of his soul that much louder, that much more noticeable, that much more unbearable. We have changed his supplements that he takes. high dose b6 and magnesium. huge difference for him. behavior wise he will always be a nut case, but he is almost conversant. which for Sam is the equivalent of swimming the English channel with no arms. so it does make me so happy