GRADUATION PICTURES

I promise at some point I will stop with all this. Soon. Just not yet.

And so it begins...

Tyler and Emily

Some of the family

How Grace passed the time

The principle , Mr. Dempsey

Ready to go

So happy the day is here. He seriously smiled almost the whole time

Listening closely to the names being called. We received a letter telling us there were no alterations allowed to the cap and gown allowed. Tyler braided his tassel to be different

My graduate after receiving his diploma

Two People that gave Tyler all of the professional building blocks he needed and tolerated him leaving his things behind almost every day

Three generations of Aggie.  

So very proud of my handsome boy

Yes, I am licking his cheek. He thinks it's funny to lick me when I'm not looking. This was my revenge.

His girlfriend, Emily, performing her "Vader move"

Slipping By

My oldest boy graduates in just a few weeks and his prom  is Friday. I have such a hard time wrapping my head around all of this. I have never felt quite so emotional about anything in my life.

Newborns and toddlers are hard work. the preschool years and school years aren't exactly easy either and JRHigh School  is usually totally wretched. High school goes by in a blink. It all seems like so much work every single day to get it done. The tantrums, the endless feeding (both newborns and teens), the drama, the heartbreak, the giggles and the fights. So many wonderful things go on in those years but it goes by so fast.

18 years ago I was graduating from High School myself. Tyler was at my graduation in a sweet green and white tux that someone bought for him at Silversteins. I graduated without any big deal (in fact I almost slept through it but my mom came by to wake me up) There was no big graduation party, there were no real presents ( I think my mom did get me a bracelet with my name on it though), it just wasn't a big deal.

Fast forward to now. I want it to be a big deal to Tyler I want him to have a blast and have a giant party. I want him to look back and remember how awesome all of this was.

I don't know if he will look back on life here with a smile or think "my Lord mom was NUTS" I am sure he will have plenty to complain about. Despite my best efforts I have made mistakes, I am, after all, human. I hope he can forgive me the slip ups and focus on all the things I did right. I hope he sees my intentions were always good. I hope he knows it's simply because I love him and truly want what is best for him.There are so many things I hope he remembers, and plenty I hope he forgets. I have no control over any of it.

I have done my very best to love him unconditionally. He has enough conditional love in other places in his life, he doesn't need that from me. I have always been there and that won't change , no matter where he lives. The selfish part of me wants him close, but the part of me that knows him and wants what is best, knows he needs to go there.

He leaves for New Jersey in just a few short weeks and I face my first summer without my boy. I can't imagine it will be easy, but I am so proud of him. He has worked so hard for this and he has earned it. I love seeing him succeed!
But I would be lying is I said  I wasn't sad, or worried, or scared. I think he is too.

I look at him and I see everything I hoped he would be the moment I held him for the first time. He is everything I wasn't. He is an amazing, strong, skilled, intelligent young man, and I hope to God I have taught him the right things.

We shall see

Depth

I have six children.
I love being a mother.

most days

Some days,  I feel so out of my depth. Some days, I skate into the home stretch of children in bed and quiet in the house. It's nights like tonight where I can only think " My God , I have to do this again tomorrow"

Thankfully those days aren't often, but they happen.
Today was awesome, tonight was a challenge.

Nate went up to tell Sam dinner was ready. Everyone had a great day. Nate went to field day, Sam had a friend over for a little while. Sam was half asleep when Nate went to get him for dinner. So Sam punched him, Nate cried which infuriated Sam more. Then Sammy pummeled Nate, AJ intervened and Sam escalated, then Ty intervened and I removed everyone and dealt with it. It was brutal, and ugly, and one of those moments that make me think that perhaps I am not a very good parent.

six children.

It's a challenge.

And some days it just sucks.

So tonight I will have a glass of wine. I will thank God for my blessings, for my trials, for the ups and the downs and for the little time that I get as their mom. When babies are born it feels like every day takes forever, but I promise you that if you just blink a little too long, they are 18.

It's kind of like a roller coaster. You wait in line, you get strapped into the car, you are so scared of the drop and the loops but before you know it the ride is over and all you have is the memory of it.

Tonight I will go to sleep.

In the morning I will do it all over again. I just hope tomorrow ends on an up-note.

Level II Graduate

YAY CHANCE

 It's official Chance has graduated from obedience school. It's funny how much easier a dog he is. he is so calm and sweet. He is a joy to spend time with. We love that dog. He helps Sammy so much.

The bone that had been the core of the problem the day Grace was hurt has been sitting in out pantry, wrapped and waiting. We brought it out to show him and see if there was still possessiveness. He sniffed it and refused to even take it. I have brought it out a few times since and still, he doesn't want it.

We wont ever give him a rawhide like that again. They aren't good for dogs or my heart... just in case.

We have noticed when the baby is sleeping in her car seat, Chance wants to be where he can see her. If I move her, he moves. They aren't ever alone and he is never close enough for me to worry. He watches her though. It's very sweet.

I don't know this would have had such a happy ending if it weren't for Rick of South Coast Canines. We would have likely put the dog down. I am so glad we didn't. If your dog has some quirky behaviors or even just pulls on the leash. you really should give Rick a call. It's worth it.

A well behaved dog is so much easier to enjoy.