Friday, July 16, 2010

4... yes 4

Driving home the other day I looked over at Sammy. He was staring out the window with a forest gump smile on his face. We had just been to visit his new school and had the 10 cent tour. He liked the sparkly doors in the lunchroom and the boat on the playground. He did however mention the school reminded him of sweaty shoes. I don’t really understand but I just nodded. So as we were at the light he was looking out the window. I figured it might be ok to try a conversation…

Please understand, conversations with sam can be painful. He rarely makes cmpete sense and it is difficult to get his attention. I often feel dejeted and sad when conversations fail. But it’s been better, so much better, so I figured we could try.

Mom- hey Sammy what cha thinking about?
Sam- being 7
Mom - being 7?
Sam - yup (pause) I turn 7 ,I be big, I be different?
Mom - you want to be different at 7?
Sammy- yup. I be bigger? I run faster, be taller?
Mom - yes, Sammy when you get older you get bigger.
Sammy - then I be big …like superman (silence)
That was it.
4 volleys. Yeeeehhaaaa

Sammy and silly bands

Eureka! My poisonous bug obsessed child has found something he loves that I am willing to give him. Though I do believe he would have been thrilled with a corpion for good behvior, that was just tad bit too much for me to handle. Cardinal rule of life with Sammy only promise or suggest what you will 100% follow through with. Everything in life is a lesson.

So silly bands. He earns them when he does something super awesome, or just for being good for a long time. He looses for acting up, making bad choices and defiance. He has an arm full. Seriously. He has been so freeking good lately I can hardly stand it!


If you haven’t seen the show please check it out. There is a boy named Max. He is a dark haired dark eyed version of Sammy. He talks like him and everything. While I understand it is simply a show, it has brought me to tears so many times. Even just thinking about some of the moments on the show make me choke up. Silly huh?
Please understand, for the world to see this child, to see max, and maybe have an idea. An inkling of what it can be like to live with a child like Sammy. My heart sings because he isn’t some kid drooling in the corner or rocking and silent. He is a real kid, with great ideas and vibrancy and personality. He . Is. A . Real. Boy! Perhaps less people will ask if Sammy is like rain man when I mention he has autism. Perhaps through this a few less people will give me the pity look. Perhaps people will learn that he is a person, just like them.
Ma has no real behavior issues other than a moment where he breaks the fish tank. that’s ok though. Noone needs to know the dark side of it. I want them to know there is hope and sunshine and light or days when the windows are open and the breeze is coming in.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

30 rock...

30 things I have learned from my son with autism

1. Packing peanuts stick to tear streaked cheeks, and immediately stop the tears

2. Lint from the dryer is almost as cuddly as a kitten, and doesn’t need to be fed

3. Oatmeal kisses last for 20 minutes if you don’t wash your face

4. There is an absolute wonder in grasshoppers, butterflies and spiders.

5. Sometimes things are messy, and that is just fine.

6. Some days your socks make you crazy. Underwear is a tool of torture and mass destruction

7. We all thrive on structure here. Consistency is key.

8. Turning on the ac 3 minutes before getting in makes the car the perfect temperature so your shorts don’t stick.

9. The words “I love you” carry more weight than a mack truck

10. My 5 year old can eat 3x his weight in berries.

11. Gluten free crackers make great frisbies. Gluten free cereal turns into slime when dumped in juice.
12. If you say no , mean it. If you say yes, do it. And sometimes being silly split’s the difference.

13. Never leave a permanent marker in your child’s reach. Especially near the baby.

14. While the 5 year old with autism may not be able to figure out the epi pen, the 3 year old NT kid can and will.

15. Running in the rain with no shoes on is way more fun than a shower.

16. Just because he sees things differently, doesn’t make them wrong. I sometimes wish I saw the world the way he does just so I could understand..

17. In a child’s eyes there is no difference between an eagle and a parrot.

18. Silly bands are like gold!

19. There are some things a hug, kiss, snuggle can never fix.

20. I am not a super hero, I do not have superpowers unless you ask my kids.

21. 15 minutes extra, is sometime all you need to avert disaster.

22. Mashed potatoes stick to ceiling fans

23. Just because he can’t handle it, doesn’t always mean I want to. But neither of us have a choice.

24. Blame is not important, the solutions are.

25. If you leave a drink alone for 30 seconds it will disappear.

26. I am so not equipped to be this child’s mother, but I am getting a crash course.

27. I don’t want him cured, I want him happy. Whatever that takes.

28. Dr. Suess rocks.

29. I am in Holland. I didn’t expect the trip but I’m learning to love windmills
30. Autism has changed our life…