Monday, May 7, 2012

The Angry Elf ~ My Heart Monday

Sammy's behavior plan tanked today. he earned exactly 0 yes ZERO minutes today. He has had one behavior after another since he got home. He refused to work at school unless he was in the principles office. He came home with 6 papers that he didn't finish at school. Even chance won't go near him he is so out of control. He is currently trying to break my door down with his own body.

I hate this.

I hate how he feels and there is nothing I can do.

I am tired.

Apparently, so is he.

the work he needs to do is in pieces on the floor crumbled up. I am  officially at a loss. I feel like were on an airplane and the cabin pressure changed. I miss when things were simple and I could just be mommy and a cuddle worked. I tried hugging him and that didn't go so well either.

I need a vacation from Sammy.

I don't know what the issue is this year. I have never seen him be this defiant to anyone in the world but me.
There is one side of me that feel validated, as though I have finally made my point. It isn't just me. Sammy really is autistic. I didn't make it up and it isn't my fault.
The other side of me says it must be the teacher's fault. the other part of me feels sad were dealing with this .I fell lost and frustrated because I don't know what to do.

It isn't fair I want to blame his teacher. I don't want people blaming me, so why am I blaming her. I am ashamed at my response.

So I'm going to go run and get it out. I will take a deep breath.
I need to find an out of the box way to deal with this. if you have suggestions I would love to hear it.