Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Simple Things I shouldn't do

Like Shell over at Things I cant Say there are certain things I shouldn't ever attempt. It doesn't really matter the time because honestly , I can make really awesome messes anywhere.

1. Change my look when I am upset. the last time I did this it was drastic...and scary. It was right after my wedding I was upset about something (read irrational and pregnant and didn't know it yet) and I freaked out. Yup, chopped 9 inches off my hair and spent the rest of the year looking like something between a confused boy and a shaggy puppy. It's funny as I type this I have been thinking about a change and was thinking about just (you guessed it) cutting my hair! Thank you Shell for posting this to remind me DON"T DO IT.

2. Go bathing suit shopping after lunch. Ok, really ladies ,getting a suit is hard enough. The lighting in the dressing rooms make us all looklike something out of a Tim Burton flick and then to try to find something that covers all the places on us that we wish weren't there...well it's traumatic. Now add to that lunch and the post lunch belly that goes along with it, added to the body of a woman who has had 5 kids... yeah..no

3. Reply to blogs on my phone. I learned my webOS system sucks and for whatever reason tells me "you suck and can't post! Make your comment longer" meanwhile posting the said comment each time. Ooops..sorry Shell <3

4. Go to places that sell fluffy pretty girl dresses with witnesses. I cry. I sniffle.  I get all over emotional. It is embarrassing! I pride myself on being a pretty tough lady and dress shopping for a one year old made me cry uncle. I am such a marshmallow inside. Just don't tell anyone...ok?

5. Let down my filter in public. I am known for being filter-less. People who love me understand, but in a crowd most people don't know me. I am that person who says wildly inappropriate things to people. Like saying "It's nice to see you upright again" to a woman who passed out at my neighbors or "wow I didn't know the mole you had was that big, but look at the whole it left" Yes, both things have come from my mouth on separate occasions. Funerals are the worst, I will always say or do one thing I really really shouldn't do.

6. Post when I am angry. My  husband says that I have "rough edges" and that I am "prickly". I think my parents may have used more colorful language to describe my not so sweet disposition. I tend to let the fur fly when I am upset and I can be quite caustic (think battery acid). I always feel badly after and then I don't know what to do. Once something is posted it is there forever and then it eats at me for months.

7. Deciding to change a few things about a room when I am alone. The last time I thought about that I ripped down wallpaper and pulled out light fixtures in 2 separate rooms. Granted my lovely friend Miss J came to save me and fixed my mess...mostly. I still have unfinished stuff around the house which leads me to my next DON'T

8. Go to home Depot, Lowes, or Craft Stores alone. I will buy things I don't need with a ridiculously grandiose idea about what it will turn out like. I always over estimate my skill level and end up with crap I never use,put up,fix,change or paint. I have 2 gallons of lavender paint down stairs and small containers of blue, pink, and yellow to paint the bathroom bubble theme I wanted when we bought the house almost 2 years ago. I have to go there today to rent a tiller for the garden...pray for me...please!

9. Plan Parties. I become obsessed with details and I get crazy. I over plan, over feed and I always end up in a hysterical lump of tears at some point before everyone gets there. I get it out and I move on but still it can't be good for my blood pressure.

10. Visit new babies in the hospital or at home. OK really just even looking in the direction of new babies makes my ovaries twitch. We are Quiverfull and all but I am tapped out mostly at the moment. Would I be happy with more HELL YEAH but I don't know that I am really ready for that right now. Seriously though if I am within sniffing distance of new baby smell I just want one.