Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Don't Say It

"Autism is the new add. It's over diagnosed because Dr's are lazy. "

Really? Really? 

I read this and became so mad I couldn't even write for a while. I think I have finally calmed down enough to put my thoughts together. If I have to explain why that comment is hurtful, then you can't possibly understand how much these kids struggle.

1. ADD is not a game either. It often floats with autism on the giant see of the spectrum. I have yet to meet one child with ASD that doesn't have some form of either attention difficulty or impulsiveness or both. Autism Diagnosis takes more than just a few minutes and creates a need for documentation. Hours of meetings and paperwork. I don't know any doctor that wants more of those.

2. It's hard for most parent to get help, and hearing crap like this doesn't make it any easier. Yes there may be some parent out there who are looking for a reason to complain, but, there are more over here on my side who really need the help. I still struggle with it. I still worry about what people think. Maybe that is why this comment is such a hot button for me.

3. HOW DARE YOU treat this like isn't earth shattering or mind blowing. ANY CHILD receives a diagnosis of anything it sends the parents for a loop. Comments like this completely disregard and discount the struggles our kids (and parents) go through each day.

4. Would you ever say something like this to a parent who just had a child diagnosed with cancer? NO? why not? Why is it that the world thinks that these issues aren't real? because you can't draw blood for them? Because you can't see it? Would you say this to a mom of a child diagnosed with Down Syndrome, Depression, Bi-Polar Dissorder, Cleft Palate? 

Comments like this are a slap in the face to every kid out there with autism. It discounts us, makes us small. It's demeaning and unfair. Don't Say It EVER

I get that  the person who said this probably didn't realize how caustic and hurtful their comment was.  Maybe they were just trying to help, to console, to empower. The comment above did none of those things. As parent of spectrum kids we second guess enough crap in our daily lives, we don't need you adding to it. This comment wasn't even said to me and in honesty the person it was said to may not have been as upset by it as I am. that's OK. If you don't know what to say just try "hey, how can I help" and leave it at that.

Autism is not the NEW anything. 

If you didn't know which child had autism , could you tell? Probably not. Autism may not show up in a blood test or a scan. It shows up in our houses, in our beds at 3 am, it shows up even when we try to ignore it. This is the face you discount when you say things like that Sir. It shows me how uneducated and uniformed you are. April is Autsim Awareness Month, perhaps you can learn something. After all "Ignorance is the NEW badge, people wear it simply because they are Lazy"