Thursday, February 23, 2012

Am I Alone?

 I feel guilty.

 Because when we are out sometimes I just wish he could "act normal" it's not fair to say but it sucks anyway. I feel terrible thinking that way. I hate having to hold him when he freaks out in the middle of a store. I hate the looks people give us when he starts acting odd in public. People see this "big" family and just think I can't control them.  I worry so much about what other people think, that sometimes I forget that what matters most is what my FAMILY thinks.

I feel guilty that sometimes I wish people could SEE that he has a disability, because he looks like every other kid around him (just even more handsome). I hate the looks and the comments I get simply because he looks "just fine"

In the end I am glad it's the way it is and nothing can make me love him more or less. I am blessed and I know it could be so much worse but for right now. I feel guilty about all of this. I feel like being sad /guilty/frustrated means I am a terrible mom.I shouldn't have these feelings right? Am I alone