January 10, 2013
I woke up and came downstairs today to a sink full of dishes and a full dishwasher. A clear sign my oldest boy had chosen to skip his chores. It's a known pet peeve of mine and it took everything I had to not come unglued. I may or may not have even burst into tears at least once, to which Grace responded by kissing me.
Sam has been spewing negativity in wild tangents that go on for 15-20 minutes at a time. It really wears on you after while.
II have been listening to my Dale Thomas CD and so all morning I kept hearing "it's your choice" in my head. Now I am not so sure of how much is really my choice and how much is simple bio chemistry that creates OCD. I took a bunch of deep breaths and relaxed and decided to just start at the beginning and go from there. I got the kitchen cleaned up and finally had my cup of coffee at 10am. Needless to say it wasn't the best morning.
I didn't feel very blessed. I just felt tired and frustrated. I felt like once again I came up short because I should be able to somehow do it all, even 8 months pregnant. I somehow have this ridiculous idea that I should be Donna Reed. Grace was cranky and I was edgy and I kept trying to make the choice to keep it together and count my blessings.
I didn't want to write about feeling gratitude or feeling blessed. I wanted to wallow.
then I saw THIS post on Facebook and my perspective changed. Here I was feeling sorry for myself over a sink full of dishes and a facebook friend had lost her son. Her 8 year old son. He suffered through debilitating pain and illness for way longer than anyone should ever have to, never mind a child.
So today I am grateful that I can hug and kiss all my kids even when they don't do their chores, Even when they leave their stuff on the floor, Even when they roll their eyes and talk back because my kids are all still here. We all know it can change in a moment.
If you can, take a moment and say a prayer for Kyle's family.