Tuesday, March 13, 2012

My Broken Heart

My Broken Heart

Some of you may know that our dog bit the baby. It was horrible and brutal , there was blood everywhere. I am heartbroken and confused. I don’t know what to do.

My beautiful girl received over 40 stitches in her lip. Our Dog was quarantined. My family was heartbroken. It was an accident, the dog had a bone that smelled like another dog, he became possessive. We put him in his kennel, Sammy let him out, the baby accidentally got put down just a little too close by our oldest son. The dog felt threatened and snapped. Tyler saved the day and got the baby because he was right there. So it probably could have been worse. Regardless, it’s bad enough.

I feel like I have sacrificed one child for another. My sweet baby girl that lights up my days was hurt. I can’t even put my thoughts together completely. I just hurt so much. I still haven’t cried yet. I think I am still in survival mode and keeping busy figuring out what exactly to do about the dog. If this had been about anything other than food, I would feel differently. This dog has never shown any sort of aggression before. It’s random. If I lost it and beat the crap out of my husband I would hope he would forgive me and move on. I know it’s not the same. I know…

I know a lot of you won’t agree on this. I understand where your coming from and I hear you. It isn’t that simple. I love this dog, the kids love this dog. Sammy has thrived in more ways than I can express since we brought him home. He is family.

I can’t eat. I sleep in fits and starts, small spaces in between flashbacks and dreams. Sounds and smells of that night are still preventing me from eating. My stomach is in knots.  I can’t put her down. I feel like I am being chased by a lion. I am heartbroken… or maybe just broken.

joining up with Shell once again.