Saturday, March 31, 2012

In This Moment

Today we went to do our taxes and brought Sammy, Nate and Grace with us. Tyler and AJ were at work. The boys did well and so I was really pleased. The news was good as far as the taxes went so we decided to go for a treat. I needed to go to the walkin because my hand is really hurting.  I have it in a brace right now and for the last 4 weeks I have been unable to move it off and on. I can barely hold my phone most days lately. Well, the walk in was closed. We had told the boys we would take them for lunch after the doctor visit, but now there was no doctor to visit. We went to the bookstore and each child chose a book. They played in the castle and they just really enjoyed it.
Sammy struggles to read and even though he can he hates to do it. I was hoping that by finding him a book he liked he would want to read. He chose one (the Avengers super hero series)and we were on our way. 

As Daniel paid for the books Sam wandered and picked up a book about guns. It was a very technical book with diagrams and notes. He was awestruck and sat looking at each label and piece of the guns written. It probably wasn't a good idea to sit and let him read it, given how angry he can be. For that moment, he was just Sammy, with an interest in something that he wanted to see. I didn't want to make him obsess over it (and he likely would have, if I hadn't let him look). If it were any of my other children I would have pulled it open, sat beside them and checked it out. In my head guns don't always equal violence.It doesn't always have to be a bad thing. I would never own one simply because with a child like Sammy I couldn't guarantee it was safe. So I pulled open, sat beside him, and we read about the different calibers,types,makes and materials of all the weapons. I was bored but Sammy enjoyed it.

We took them for lunch and Sammy was awesome. Nate was the cutest little thing, ever! and Grace, well she is just all kinds of awesome! 

It was time to pick up the big kids and so we went. Tyler got in the car and Sammy told him "We had so much fun, we went to the store,we got booooks,we played in a castle and we got treats.We went out for lunch!" He had fun and it was worth working hard to stay in the moment. Too often I get stuck in the moments of sad and gloom because of the changes in our world. I get sad because things are just so different sometimes. I look ahead  and around and I miss the stuff right now. I miss it too often because of the fear and anxiety of the world around me and how things might happen. Today, I lived in the moment, where the good stuff is. I didn't miss it and that makes me smile