Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Trying So Hard

I am trying so hard to be positive and enjoy the extra week with Sammy. I am trying to find good things to write about. it's a struggle right now. Yesterday was so bad I almost completely lost my shit. Yes.... really! I am talking a crying, yelling, flipping out, foot stomping, crazy lady freak out!

Nate has had enough of Sammy and has twice now lost it on him and began pummeling him into the ground after relentless teasing. Right now he is sitting beside me because he came to tell me " right now I feel like I want to punch him in the face"

Not pretty here. We're going to head out to the park even though I feel like crap because I cannot possible take another minute here. I am hoping for some baking later as well.

On a plus side I did get a ton of laundry done yesterday. I am so very behind from summer and being so sick with Squish. 14 weeks today and the next few days will be full of fear and panic. My midwife made me feel better when she said " These things are out of our control, you are healthy and so is the baby. That should give you some comfort. Yes, bad things can happen, but try to focus on the positive" I love my midwife and her ability to call it like it is.

Sam's day yesterday was less then stellar. He broke Nate's bed, screamed, yelled, cried, punched walls, and hurt the little girl next door. He was hell on wheels in every sense of the word all.day.long. He lost his stuffing over and over with every request I made of him. Finally I just had enough and let him chill with The SIMS. He loves to build houses. He laid down with us last night and sighed and said...

"I am a lucky boy. I have a mommy and a daddy and a family. They love me"

so I guess it wasn't all bad. In the end, the entire day of crap was worth that 3 second sentence at the end.