Monday, August 13, 2012

The Land of Stupid

I took the three littlest to the playground today. We packed sandwiches, fruit, and juice. We remembered hats and sunblock. The boys were so excited! 

I discovered how very independent Miss Grace is. She wandered off without even a furtive glance in my general direction.

I discovered how NOT independent Sammy is at the playground. He kept an almost constant eye on me and if I moved out of his line of sight he came running for me. It's a big change from where he was even a year ago. He use to bolt from places like that every time we went out. It was terrible. This was a little nicer.
He found a spinning toy and spent the rest of the time there spinning on it. 

Nate played and made a few friends and enjoyed himself as well.

I ran into someone and we started talking. When people find out how many kids I have they always tell me how crazy I am and blahblahblah...nothing I haven't heard before. She asked if I was thrilled to have them all going back, because you know having so many I must be miserable... I explained I homeschool Nate but Sam is in a special needs program that provides better things than I can give him. Her first response "Oh but he looks so normal" I responded as I always do "Well, autism doesn't exactly have a look" Her next volley FLOORED me! It took me a second to recover and respond. "Oh autism (in this drippy stupid knowing voice)  Its so common now it's hardly a special needs thing anymore"  I should have walked away. I should have stopped talking to her right there.I could only respond with " That is only because you don't live with it" I didn't walk away, so anything this poor woman said after that is my own fault for giving her an audience to her ignorance. I am sure she had no idea how ridiculous she sounded. I changed the subject. She asked if I ever got stressed out with all the kids.  I was honest, yes of course I do. Some days my feet hit the floor and I feel like I'm putting tuxedos on jelly fish all day. Some days it sucks! Regardless, I feel like this is what I am here for. 

So she says

" I don't think I could have that many, what if something went wrong?" 

I smiled and said "Well, you handle it, it's life. We aren't ever guaranteed perfection. I have two spectrum kids, it becomes your normal." 

Then she said it...
"No, I mean like a real problem. Something like Down Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy"

Wow. just wow. At that point I walked away. No words just...away. Ignorance scares me