Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Through my eyes

A dear friend just had her daughter diagnosed with autism. Everyone is telling her how sorry they are and that it will be ok. It made me think of what I wished people had said to me 4 years ago when sammy was diagnosed

1. those words don't change who your child is. He was that person before the words stuck to him like Velcro. The diagnosis doesn't change him it changes you. It changes you from the inside out. You may not even notice at first but will

2. Give yourself time to cry. If you don't those tears will hunt you down at a time when you least expect it. Like when your standing in the grocery store  in the middle of a ton of people.

3. Be ready. For the moments that make you smile,the ones that make you scream and the ones that make your head spin. Be ready for laughter and tears and everything in between. Be ready to feel an entire range of emotions in a split second with no warning over something ridiculous.

4. Know that the people who discount your struggles are just trying to help. They don't understand what an ass it makes them sound like. They don't understand how much it frustrates you.

5. Know that there are people out there to help.Don't give up.Don't give up..Did I mention DONT GIVE UP

6. It's not you. You didn't create his Autsim. You didn't do anything wrong.It isn't your fault.In a few years a study will come out linking zoloft use in pregnant women to autism.  It isn't your fault. You made the best decisions you could at the time with the information you had.

7. The people who remind you how it could be worse will make you want to scream. yes,it could be worse,but right now that doesnt matter,THIS is hard enough

8. This is not the end of the world, it just feels like it.

9. find diary of a mom's blog. read it. breath cry read it again.

10. One foot in front of the other. It may never be the same, but it will be OK.