Thursday, November 10, 2011

Finding the Rhyme

    I have been quiet here lately and for that I apologize.
    I have been struggling here with so many things. The death of a young woman with developmental disabilities  after a hit and run accent has rocked our town. The young woman Katie, was extraordinary in so many ways. Always happy and smiling and helpful. She went to our church, helped in some of the ministries and was faithful and unshakable in her faith.

    Her mother was also an incredible woman, one of the first people I spoke with after Sammy was diagnosed. Karen was just a few feet away as I lost it in the grocery store trying to figure all of this out and becoming overwhelmed to the point of tears. She spoke softly and assured me it would be ok. It made a world of difference to me that night, She gave me hope, as did Katie in her sheer awesomeness. My mother knows her as well, she is just one of those people you have to love. At least that is how I see it. I don't know if she is even aware of the impact she and Katie had on me. The hope and strength they both gave me and how grateful I am for that.

    This tragedy has rocked our little town. Everyone here knew Katie, she was just a ray of sunshine to everyone she came near. It has rocked me in so many different ways.

    I keep thinking about Karen, and how much this must hurt for her. She loves her daughter so much. Having a daughter of my own now gives me a different perspective. It's painful to think about. In fact it makes me ill to think about it. I can't wrap my head around the anguish and pain that poor woman must feel.

    I keep thinking about Katie. I cant imagine life was easy, but I don't think I ever once saw her not smiling. Really, not one time! I think about all the amazing things she was doing with her life, her time, her energy. I am not even half as productive.

    I keep thinking about Sammy and his adulthood, about his frailty and strength. I think about Sammy and his naivety, his anger,his fortitude. I think about Sammy and all he is to me and how his future is so cloudy. I have no idea what I think really it just overwhelms me with deep sadness and confusion. I may make sense of this someday. I highly doubt that, but I may try. If I figure out I will be back to let you know. I promise. If nothing else but to record it, make it permanent and static.

   until then ...

Sleep sweet miss Katie