Monday, November 28, 2011

My Heart Monday

Sam I am can be volatile. You all know that so it's no surprise that  the last five days have been chaotic. I hate and love having him home. Some days he makes me cry and other's he makes me laugh so hard I cry. I love him every moment but some days I don't like him very much. It's hard to like being called names and being assaulted. That doesn't change how much I love him , or that I would truly do anything for him. It just sucks and it doesn't change.

We went for a tree, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth , we got in the car. He continued to flip out and finally after 25 minutes we were on our way. He was wearing yellow pajamas and an orange shirt with sneakers and no socks. *shrug* oh well I can't win them all. He found two pieces of tree on the ground and turned himself into a deer. I love those moments. I want to freeze those moments and remember only them. I think that somehow if I can string enough of those Fantastic moments together I will be able to pretend the bad ones don't exist.

Decorating the tree was not easy and honestly not a whole lot of fun this year. Sammy had his meltdowns and Nate screeched like a banshee every 30 seconds. I am starting to worry more and more that something is up with Nate. I can't even fully address it because it makes my stomach hurt. The one video I got of Nate shows Sammy in the background flipping out and my poor husband trying to get a grip on the shirtless wonder.

Some day my holidays will be peaceful...wont they?