Transformation

This blog has always been about Sammy and life with Autism in the house. But so much has changed. I just don't see it the way I did before. Yes, Sam still has autism but it doesn't consume us. it completes who he is in a unique and special way.

So on that note - things will be changing at YLMBreadless.

Some big changes. Some little changes.

It's the new year and I picked a word to focus on this year.

gentle

 I try to be gentle with the people around me.I often fail with the ones I love the most. I explode all over everyone sometimes. Seeing it afterwards makes me feel terrible. 

But where does it start?

It starts here

right here.
If I spoke to my friends the way I speak to myself I wouldn't have any friends.

from looking in the mirror and finding every flaw to mentally flogging myself over every little mistake. I find every imperfection and dwell on it. I tell myself that if I were a better mother / wife / friend /housekeeper these things wouldn't happen.
the fingerprints on the stove would be cleaned already.
my kids would listen better

my house would be picked up

there wouldn't be laundry on my landing

I call myself names and I find every single flaw, wrinkle, and imperfection.

It creates a level of constant frustration and unhappiness. It makes me want to hide from the world. It steals all of my joy. It destroys my relationships and my heart.

So starting right now. I will be more gentle with me so I can be more gentle with others.