The baby whisperer

So many people are amazed at how babies are drawn to Sammy. They love him.crying baby? That's no match for Super Sam! We have a new baby here.She.Loves.Sam.

Love isn't really a strong enough word for what Sammy and Grace have. She looks at Sammy as though he is her hero.Her very own knight in shining armor.Can a 3 month old baby idolize someone? If it's possible she does. They share moments when I watch them looking at each other. no words no noise just the two of them. I am amazed...  Amazed to see the light in my girl's eyes and the love she has for him. To hear him tell me that he loves her so much he wants to eat her. To see my son, who often resembles The Hulk in a roid rage, soften when he sees his sister. To stop a behavior just because she makes a noise. Its amazing to see how much this little being has changed our house. how much it has changed Sammy.
 There is this part of me, this deep hidden place where the trolls live (before coffee trolls), that is jealous, hurt and almost sad. I know it's so irrational but I am jealous that she connects with him on a level I can't. Even as his mother.
When we brought her home he told me "Sorry mom I cant love you anymore, I love Grace" and that has held true. He barely acknowledged me in passing. He doesn't need to. Wherever I am Grace is too. I tried to take him with me , just him and I and he refused. I feel like I failed, or hit the lottery I cant figure out which one really. But for now I am just grateful that he loves her and it isn't the other way around. I'll just sit here and watch him sleep, kiss his brow, and whisper to him that I still love him...like a banana