Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Sammy Has learned... so have I

He has learned so very many things over the past few months.
- his people have eyes now when he draws them.
- he has learned to build castles with blocks
- he has learned to say I love you
- he has learned to sleep in his bed
- he likes to color, he may not do it well but he does it
- he has learned to have authentic conversations
I am so proud of that young man. He has come further than I could have ever imagined. He was sitting at the window counting raindrops each one after ten being 65. 28 minutes of sitting there in the window counting rain drops. Now he is laying on the floor rolling back and forth. I don't fight it the way I use to, I don't grieve the way I use to, I don't feel the way I use to...

because of him

how can you not love this kid
I felt hopeless when we found out. I feared the future and the past, I had horrid guilt, and cried all the time. I freaked out inside every time he stimmed that i would never get through to him. I cried when he ran circles in the house and couldn't sit still for a second. But those things that made me sad have become my joy. Sammy is just Sammy who happens to have autism. He just happens to think in ways that may not make sense to other people. That is OK.

he is who he needs to be and to try to "cure" him and rip the autism from him seems so unfair. It is woven into our lives. Don't get me wrong I want him to be able to live without insane frustration, I want him to live and succeed. But I don't want him to change. I like him the way he is, I love him for his weirdness, and I LOVE seeing into his world when he lets me.