poor Sammy has been so sick. coughing and hacking. fever and wheezing.
Interestingly enough when he runs a fever he seems normal. I should have known something was amiss when he explained to me that his head was a melon and if I ate it he would go to heaven. He really isn't feeling much better yet, but he feels well enough that his sensory issues are over the top. his blood sugar is a mess and he is off diet from the Tylenol for the fever. necessary evils yes but the fall out sucks. he screams and cries. he hits AJ whenever he gets in striking distance. he is stealing food and tonight he woke from his nap freaking out. screaming about the light and the noise and everything else. I am exhausted. poor baby cant help it. he is stimming on everything. he keeps singing songs over and over and over, playing with the door chain like a cat with string. counting to ten over and over. kicking screaming and just being an autistic 4 year old.

but he still wants to love me. he still kisses me and hugs me and smothers me. he rubs my face and my shoulders and my chest. he has been so sick he keeps even asking to nurse. that has been forever.

he just woke up. tells me he peed in his pull up. gets a new one and says its not a pull up its a nemo swim(swim diaper) i get him a pull up he asks to cuddle by sitting in my spot. he smiles and touches my cheek. "Sammy hand cold" he says he is sitting with me stimming on my ear phone wire cuddled into my chest. And for this moment there is no where else I would rather be in the world then here with my Sam I Am