over the last 4+ years I have been through so much with Sammy. I still kick myself for all the things I didn't know or realise. It makes me sad because I am sure he would be even better off if I had caught it sooner. but that is just my head talking
I've been giving a lot of though lately to the future. what life may or may not be like for Sam as he gets older. granted he isn't rain man or anything but he certainly isn't your average Joe either.
will he drive
will he live on his own
will he get married
should we consider training him for first communion and if we do what then. it has gluten .
he seems to be on an upswing lately, directly proportionate to the downturn he took the past few weeks. he got dressed and ready for school without too much fuss ( i let him wear his jammies under his clothes)he ate dinner, cuddled and was just great. he told me he loves me and hugged me without me having to ask (a rare occasion) he asked for a cup cake and waited until I got it.
his speech suddenly jumped a level and now i can understand him 80% of the time.
its good today. but you never know. it's like having a wild animal in the house it can turn on you any second.
someone today was talking about how frustrating regression can be. it is so hard. every day with Sam is like a dance. 12 forward 6 to the left and 9 back. but somehow we always end up ahead of where he was when we started. He is starting to be one hell of a dance partner.
I'll take it. at least now he knows I'm here. at least now he can say he loves me. he is Sam after all. every moment of everyday is such a challenge for me to care for him... but I think everyday is even more of a challenge for him to try to fit into the world around him.