despite the rain

we had a fantastic day with the family for little Mia Grace's baptism. what a little princess she is.

sammy was Perfect! it was such a great day. i can't even tell you how proud of that little boy I am. he went ahead and said hi to people. was appropriate in quiet a few moments and just did as well if not better than I would have ever expected of him

Mia Grace

Today is her christening. Shes a few weeks if not months old, and we haven't even met her yet. I feel like were bad cousins. then again I think to today and the type of behavior I can hope to see from Sam as well as the behavior I will very likely see from Sammy. he doesn't handle crowds well. in fact they raise his anxiety level so much that at least one physical outburst is likely, if not more. the food temptations,the people who touch him without asking, the people who try to correct him, the sheer volume and being in someone elses house are all a fail safe recipe for total disaster. he will melt down either during or after. it wont be pretty. I don't want to bring him and have him disrupt everything. I know he can and often does.
the light on that tunnel is one comment that Tracey made one day at Erin's house. I thanked them for all being so nice to Sammy and so understanding. Tracey smiled at me and said " why not we love him, he is our cousin" that one sentence meant the world to me. it cleared me of the guilt I feel bringing Sam when he acts wild. how much easier it would be for everyone if we just stayed at home. but I can't it's Mia's and Tracey and Scott's day... and it's been a long time coming

God Bless Mia Grace

sammy update

things have been good with sam. I know that at some point the other shoe is going to drop. or maybe I have adjusted my expectations so much at this point that it just "seems" good who knows.

it struck me however this week when daniel and I took Sammy to the store. he functions on a normal level for a two year old. he asks things and talks like a child half his age. does that mean that by 30 he will be about 15? thats better then forever 2 isn't it. maybe it will all be fine.

I am working on the new positive attitude with sam. it could be worse and it isn't so in that way he is a blessing. he isnt the child I thought I had or the child I had hoped to have, but he is still my baby and I love him.

he has found sheer joy in the mundane. chocolate chips and cup cakes with frosting. cuddles in the morning (oh how I love that) and a back scratcher. all of these things make him beyond happy. he has also begun rolling himself in the carpet for deep pressure. he got stuck the other day. that was funny. he also played , really played, with lego's today. it was inspiring.

my solution

peppers that fall over when you stuff and cook them. well how about this? it worked wonders.
i just put some tomato puree from my garden tomatoes and used the peppers from the garden as well. stuffed them with GF breadcrumbs,ground beef and ground pork, egg, fresh basil, garlic, salt and pepper

cuppies!

yummy. believe it or not I have NEVER made a cupcake! not once before in my life. I have cooked just about everything under the sun but somehow overlooked these fun little items.



I decided to go for it since I had a ton of bananas that needed to be used. I went to http://howtoeatacupcake.net/ and found a FAN.TAS.TIC banana cuppie recipe here http://howtoeatacupcake.net/2008/02/banana-cupcakes-with-banana-coconut.html

holy cow batman they are so yummy. I topped them with the buttercream frosting and holy heck my kids went nuts!





I couldn't leave sam out so on to the cupcake recipe for him. it called for rice flour and that is not SCD legal so I went with coconut flour and almond flour to total 3 cups. baking soda,gf vanilla, honey,oil, almond milk, cocoa powder(which is not scd legal but sam seem ok with it) and water.
because the coconut flour absorbs so much more I had to keep adding water to make it the right consistency.again I frosted them with a modified butter cream and they were fantastic.

braised beef shanks with potatoes

I bought the beef shanks (much like ox tail but cheaper) and braised them in a red wine sauce with two heads( yes heads) of garlic and one large onion. after searing the meat i added the potatoes. which by the way were from my lovely garden. i served it with corn on the cob (again from the garden) cranberry sauce and home made bread.

I made a coconut tapioca loaf for Sam. he decided a cranberry sauce sandwich was super yummy and all was well with the world.

just posting boy pictures

pumpkin butter

sammy stole the pumpkin for a hat.


washed and sterilized jars ready to go


collars,jar tongs and a funnel


seals (brand new) sterilized and waiting in hot water


1large pumpkin. peeled and cleaned.-i baked it first to make it easy to peel and also ran it through the blender first
2.5 cups sugar and 2.5 cups water
cinnamon,allspice,nutmeg and cloves to taste- about a teaspoon but just a touch of the nutmeg
set the crock pot on low(mine had to be on keep warm for it not to burn but my pot has issues)
cook it uncovered (i use a splatter guard though)until it reduces and thickens up (about 24 hours)

fill the jars and then wipe the rims of any messy stuff so that the lids seal properly.

into the water bath. covered with boiling water and boiling for 20minutes

it's great for ice cream topping, on toast, in yogurt. so yummy and no added crap!

back to school

Tyler. he is 13 and is in the 8th grade this year.
i can't even think about high school next year


AJ. he is 10 and in the 5th grade this year

how is it I have 2 in middle school now? when did that happen??????

and this is what baby brothers do when all the big boys are at school. you relax under your rocking horse with a dehydrated pear slice (from trader joes, so so yum)

sammy refused a back to school picture as he refuses most photos these days. what can you do

catching up

this is part of the pure summer joy! watermelon,naked!

Sammy ate almost an entire quarter of it all by himself

this is Sam's mustache, i thought it was a sad face and that made him rather angry. watermelon trowing ensued
sorry I never did post that picture of the finished cookies. they didn't last long enough for me to snap a photo. it was over the second the kids got home. so i guess that means they were good.


I didn't get one since I still can't really eat solid stuff. maybe by next week my mouth wont hurt as much? maybe?

cookie making

i had given a gift of sweet treats to some family and friends this Christmas. every quarter i make a treat they want for them. I'm a bit behind in making July's but they are getting done. I made more cookies today.this is actually my second attempt at this recipe. the first time they just weren't as good as I wanted them to be. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I think I figured it out. I doubled the recipe except forgot to double the butter. they weren't terrible but they were not fantastic either.
this is the recipe I used.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Best-Big-Fat-Chewy-Chocolate-Chip-Cookie/Detail.aspx

from what I gather the secret to this recipe is the melting of the butter first. I did melt it but not completely. just until it was the consistency of pudding.



i beat the butter until it looked much like whipped cream.





then I added the brown sugar and white sugar. I always use half dark brown and half light brown sugar when I make cookies. I just like the way they come out better. I beat this mixture until it reminded me of mousse. I want to say espresso mousse for some reason





then the eggs. I separated two (the extra whites will be for meringues) and then added two more. look it's happy to see me! added the vanilla












It calls to sift all the dry ingredients together. so of course I got to enjoy using my vovoa's old sifter.









then add the chips. mix it by hand and measure 1/4cup for each cookie.






bake...





still in the oven so a finished picture will have to wait

teeth, birthdays and pumpkin butter

my mouth hurts. last friday I had major oral surgery and now have dry sockets. fun. they plugges the gaping holes with something that tastes like a sombination of clove and burning bandaids. sucks!

i had a birthday this past weekend. yipee? spent the day in bed hopped up on percs (my kinda day LOL im kidding) went to a party that night and remember NOTHING. except chocolate mousse. my wonderful friend michelle made me some since I couldn't chew.

hubby got me pats tickets SCORE!!!!!
the boys got me a twilight shirt and 2 pairs of fluffy socks for work. my aunt made me an eggplant lasgana and mashed potatoes and kayla did some laundry and made lunch. weeee. good times.

I also made pumpkin butter in one of the few and rare moments of clarity. 7 jars from one batch. freeking yum.tastic.
i have pics Ill have to post them later

sam

he has been fantastic today so far. super sweet. he even picked up his toys so he could play Wii. it's never like this!

Thank you Lord,

for the sunshine in Sammy's eyes today.

another note the autism walk is coming in two weeks. if you want to join me and walk or if you would like to support out team. email me.

silentnight913@yahoo.com

best blog EVA!

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

today was a better day

much better. thank God!

we finished Sam and Nate's room today. its clean YAY. now just to finish putting up the wall art and Im done! jungle room complete!!!

great breakfast with sharon at a fantastic greasy spoon in bridgewater. eggs florentine. poached eggs, spinach,florintine sauce ham and a grill english muffin. fucking Yum!the best ever home fries and good coffee. of course sharon, who makes things that much more enjoyable.
"did you see the bear?" no...did you see the balloon?

the family went to the feast today. the older two saw their grandfather and he really misses them. I feel bad. he has always been really good to them its his wife that is the issue. he wants to see them more. I want that too but their father says no. he can use it against me in court. so how do I make that choice?

mallasadas and casoila. freeking yum yum
so much for body image today. im just happy to have such a great family with fantastic kids and a wonderhubby.
i feel much better today.