how can I forget he is autistic? I know he seems so "normal" sometimes. People always say... "he doesn't look like anything is wrong" or even better "but...he's so beautiful?" as though being funny looking is somehow a requirement for autism or any special need. damn it. i get so angry when people say it, but here I am frustrated with Sammy after a morning of trying to get him dressed. frustrated because he didn't act "normal" and just get dressed. Why cant I remember, he has autism, he cannot help it. why cant I just have more patience?
i feel defeated. Today wasn't even that bad. he woke up came into bed and cuddled under my chin. He likes to snuggle in a ball and tuck under my chin. He says I smell like candy. So we cuddled and for a moment the world was frozen and all was right with the world. Then he asked the dreaded question "I has school today?" to which the answer was"yes Sam, today is Tuesday, Tuesday is a school day" so much for peaceful.
we did manage to get him dressed. though he refuses to wear pants that aren't size 6 even though he usually wears a 7. he is six so his pants should be too according to Sammy. we dressed under the covers and Sam tried so hard to play along to surprise daddy but he just couldn't calm down. then he hated the shirt and it was like being on a carousel. just going around and around. he never got his teeth brushed, but he did get breakfast... thank God for small victories