sam snow and stomach bugs

We have all been sick here. Sammy was the last one to linger with the sick bug. Plus we have had a ton of snow days as well. This makes for some very stir crazy kids.However with me being sick Sammy has had opportunities to show off his sweeter side. I LOVE IT. covering me with blankets. brushing my hair and hugging my feet. its been a rough few weeks but I do really enjoy having him home(mostly because I don't have to make him get dressed!)

effects of pot!

a loose tooth wiggle wiggle wiggle

sam has a wiggly tooth. just a little wiggly but he is a man on a mission. wiggle wiggle wiggle. all.day.long he keeps asking me to feel it. eeewwwwwww! but he is so thrilled with it. I love seeing him so happy

last night he was playing(read running a muck) in my living room and fell onto a hippity hop ball.wiggle wiggle wiggle he cracked himself in the face with it and heard his little tooth make a crackling sort of noise. you and I know this is normal but sam LOST IT. screaming he broke his jaw and now the tooth fairy wouldn't take his tooth. wiggle wiggle wiggle sobbing into my arms trying to explain to me what happened and I finally figured it out. his tooth is now VERY loose and he is VERY excited.wiggle wiggle wigglewiggle wiggle wigglewiggle wiggle wiggle

I don't think Sammy understands the difference between real and not real. since he is excited to loose the tooth to get money from the tooth fairy but he says he doesn't think she is real

sam says

I so want to be jewish...

why do I forget

how can I forget he is autistic? I know he seems so "normal" sometimes. People always say... "he doesn't look like anything is wrong" or even better "but...he's so beautiful?" as though being funny looking is somehow a requirement for autism or any special need. damn it. i get so angry when people say it, but here I am frustrated with Sammy after a morning of trying to get him dressed. frustrated because he didn't act "normal" and just get dressed. Why cant I remember, he has autism, he cannot help it. why cant I just have more patience?

i feel defeated. Today wasn't even that bad. he woke up came into bed and cuddled under my chin. He likes to snuggle in a ball and tuck under my chin. He says I smell like candy. So we cuddled and for a moment the world was frozen and all was right with the world. Then he asked the dreaded question "I has school today?" to which the answer was"yes Sam, today is Tuesday, Tuesday is a school day" so much for peaceful.
we did manage to get him dressed. though he refuses to wear pants that aren't size 6 even though he usually wears a 7. he is six so his pants should be too according to Sammy. we dressed under the covers and Sam tried so hard to play along to surprise daddy  but he just couldn't calm down. then he hated the shirt and it was like being on a carousel. just going around and around. he never got his teeth brushed, but he did get breakfast... thank God for small victories

silence and sleep

First, I want to say hi to all the new readers I have here. I am so use to basically writing for myself that I forget sometimes people may read this too. welcome and I have gone through most of the comments and I want to thank you all for the encouragement and insight. Its always nice to know we aren't alone, even when it feels that way.

Christmas eve was not the easiest here. My wonder hubby had surgery on the Monday before Christmas and the eve was at my mothers. taking Sammy anywhere is always difficult, add presents and  food into the mix and its pandemonium. he tried so hard but Lord it was horrid by the time we got home. However Daniel was able to get Sammy for a minute to help put out cookies and milk for Santa, get his jammies on and get him asleep in bed.Thank God for wonder hubby

how sweet with his penguin named polka dot

My littlest one awoke on Christmas morning so very excited. bouncing up and down saying"Santa came Santa came" my Sam... well. He wasn't angry. just very matter of fact. I remember feeling like this when Tyler was younger, just wishing he would get excited about something! anything! It makes me want to shake him, but I know that makes no sense since it would do nothing for him.
Sam was out of sorts all day and just difficult, then my dad left before dinner started and of course that created stress and anxiety for Sammy. So dinner was loud and stressful for me. I wish people would get it, would understand what it is to have a Sammy kid.
He did open presents in the morning and was happy enough. he was excited (as much as he ever will be i guess) about the balance board Santa brought. So we begin a full week of Sammy at home for Christmas break. Lord help us all!