bugs!

Everyone here is finally health. PRAISE JESUS!
I just finished watching parenthood for this week. Amazing Andy and his bugs. It's so funny to watch that. I picture Sammy as an adult as he runs through my house in his superman costume trying to sneak snacks into the living room. He makes me smile.

When Max's dad asked Andy if he was happy and he said "yes, sometimes" and then asked Adam if he was. It occurred to me. that's what I am working so hard for. For Sam to have a normal, happy sometimes kind of life. just like me, but better. I can only support him and love him and pray for every bit of normal he can gather in life.

It takes some of the pressure off, because I really do think he is happy, sometimes. I just somehow got caught up believing he was supposed to be happy all the time. that somehow him being autistic meant I was supposed to make his world perfect for him to get better. What exactly is better anyway? I don't want him to be a drone of society, I like his quirky different thinking and his little idiosyncrasies. I appreciate most of them... except for the issues we have with sock.yes, except socks.

I want Sammy to be happy, and honestly... I think he may be...

....sometimes