speed of thought

In the store today I was greeted by an adult male. I could tell he was special needs , and he reminded me so very much of Sammy. He wanted to see Grace and was so excited that she smiled at him. He and I spoke for a few minutes  about her and how she was a happy baby. He told me that he was a happy baby too and when he was little he hardly ever cried. He was so proud of this fact and was absolutely BEAMING. It got me thinking about Sammy growing up. His future and what that might look like. What do I want for him? What does he want for himself? How do I balance those things?


I want him to be happy.
I want him to be fulfilled.
I want him to know he is a good person, a gift from God Almighty.
I want him to know he is my treasure.
I want him to know how lucky we are to know him
I want him to be loved.

 this week I plan on writing about what each of those things means to me, and hopefully get Sammy to tell me what they mean for him. I need to get reconnected to him. I miss him. This week has just been so hard for all of us. So I'm taking a do over!

planning for the future

These are my children. This is my heart and my entire life. Every one of them just as important. This photo shows so much personality. Nate, the clown in the front. The protective big brother Tyler with Sammy being a goofball. AJ ready to take on the world and Grace happy to just be with momma. I am the all time protector. I watch over each of them constantly. It's my job,It's my privilege and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

However, someday I will be gone. I pray not for a very very long time.  Who is going to take care of them then? How will they survive? Bad things happen all the time. What do we do then? I have no doubt in my mind that my boys and Grace will be ok in the long run on their own but someone will have to care for Sammy, no matter when we die. Now or 20 years from now.

We have begun planning and we are buying life insurance. Each child will also be insured as a way to grow money for their college funds and for Sammy therapy and other things he may need along the way. It's hard to think of the future where I wont be there to take care of him. If you all don't already have life insurance you might want to look into it. The next thing to take care of is a Last Will and Testament. I am not really ready to cross that bridge yet.

How do you decide who will take care of your special needs child?  I wonder how other parents make that decision.

Running Away

So, Sammy has run away. He is angry that he could not have his lollipop after hitting his younger brother. He ran out of the house with nothing on but his pants. His younger brother Nate chased after him and reminded him he needed clothes and food! Sammy came back Nate helped him pack and they left together. I told them to be careful for wolves. They aren't afraid of anything

morning one

I need a plan of attack!
must

* find somewhere to order nut flour in bulk
* clean out cabinets
* make SCD chicken soup
* plan meals for two weeks
* grocery shop for SCD
* breath
* pray