Friday in Lent

Fridays seem to bring extra practice for patience during Lent. It never fails that on Fridays during Lent I find my job as a mother overwhelming. I remember last year speaking to a friend about how crazy I was feeling one day.  She clued me in to the work God does in us during this time. It's especially easy for him to come into our hearts when we are open. When we are sacrificing for him during lent we are practicing obedience and hopefully growing closer to Him.

Lent opens us up for lots of soul work.

It's no mystery I have been working on not yelling this year. I do mostly ok for a few weeks at a time. Then something breaks or spills and I loose my crap. I beat myself up a lot on the inside over my perceived failings. I have some crazy baggage from years ago that I still haven't worked through entirely. So when something spills or breaks I feel so out of control over it that I flip out.
I am slow. But I am learning my triggers.

Today alone has been one mess after the other.
spilled coffee
discovering so sugar
discovering no cream
spilled flour
spilled dirt
broken glass
missing sponge (dang cat)
laundry
extra laundry
potty misses
sugar messes
marker messes

all before noon.
Instead of loosing it I stayed calm. I even managed to snap a picture!

covered in powdered sugar

But I am trying.
How is your Lent going?

Day 2 - Lent

Yesterday was a day so full of anxiety I could barely breath. It had me questioning my ability to be a parent, a wife, and even a person without inflicting damage. I had planned on going to church in the morning but I woke up with a yucky headache. Tyler helped out and let me rest while the motrin kicked in.

Then I had planned on going at night but Gracie was just off and it was late. So I never made it to get ashes. I beat myself up over that for a long time. The bigs went, thanks to Tyler's girlfriend giving them a ride. So there was that.

Lent seems to be a time of serious anxiety and stress for me. My hero friend Michelle at Normal Chaos calls them involuntary penances. Every year they seem to become more and more obvious. Last year was a doozy with having Evangeline and suffering through Postpartum Hemorrhaging. I basically had no other choice but to sit still and heal.

Today was day 2 of lent and I find myself in a mostly calm space. It's nice for a change. I even got some coffee this morning while it was still hot!

Grace has been off today and Evie has been ultra clingy. Then Grace woke from her nap and was itchy. I assumed it was her eczema but when I really looked I discovered she was covered in HIVES! 

Sam has an anaphylactic allergy to pistachios. I have an  anaphylactic reaction to pecans. I began to panic with no benadryl in the house ANYWHERE. I went and picked some up and she seems just fine now. I just have no idea what caused the hives.

this next week looks like a doozy for me. 

How is your Lent going so far?

Moments of Peace

It was a good day today mostly. Sam played by himself today for the first time In as long as I can remember. He got out the paints and made a giant mess. It was EVERYWHERE, on the walls, the chairs, the sink, the floor and all three of the littles. Gracie was thrilled that her brother painted her blue too. He cut out a Minecraft sword and made a helmet too. He was quiet for over an hour.

minecraft armor and sword BEFORE paint

Most moms would have likely had an absolute fit over the mess. I almost did. However, it's Lent here and my goal for this year is to be more gentle in my words. I want to work on being grateful more and coming unglued less. It isn't easy for sure. It's a start.

Sam and Nate even cleaned up. Nate showed Sammy exactly what do and they worked together. it was awesome